It’s Furious Balancing

One of my most enjoyable habits is to get up (relatively) early on a weekend, make a pot of coffee, and surf the Innernets for weirdness.

There is a lot of weirdness on the Innernets, and half the time I don’t even remember how I found a particular pool of weirdness. I follow links. I have the attention span of a dog. I use Firefox and have a minimum of three tabs open at once.¹

It may be the caffeine, but I found two little lovely bits to share. The first, a web comic I stumbled upon. This one, I do believe, is worth the time to read the archives — and add to the sidebar. I spent half a cup of coffee hitting the “random” button; for some reason, I find this entry hysterical:

Perhaps it’s because I used to be an eBay addict. I’ve since moved on to Etsy, which was most aptly described as “being a lot like eBay, but you don’t feel dirty afterwards.” I wish I could remember which knitting blogger said that so I can give her credit. See note above about “attention span of a dog.”

Second, a perfect verbal pearl from Franklin over at The Panopticon, about his relationship with color: “[M]y idea of Mardi Gras is three shades of gray in one sock.”

A yep, that about sums it up for me. Despite all these photos of hot pink sweaters and scarves, the vast majority of my wardrobe is black, gray, and white. There’s a smattering of red, forest green, teal, and blue in there — well, lots of blue since it brings out the color of my eyes — but the foundation of my so-called style is black, gray, and white, especially my work wardrobe. I own four pairs of the same style of Old Navy pants² — in black — which I cycle through with great regularity.

This is one of these spots where I need to be able to footnote my footnotes.³ I need to work something in about how when I find pants that fit, I buy them in multiples. Since I am more bootylicious… er, amply callipygian than most, and right on the border between what is considered a “petite” and what is not, finding pants that fit⁴ is a rarity.

The Old Navy dress pants⁵ fit. Thank God. I know I am well outside their average demographic, if not 3 times as old as their average demographic. I am thinking that I could send some 14-year-old into hysterics with this information: “Eeeeeeewwww, I fit into the same pants as a 42-year-old! EEEEEeeeewwwww!!”

I would consider it a good day if I could do that.

Anyhow, I’m off to knit a felted cephalopod and (maybe) go shopping at Joann’s with He Who Has L33t Sewing Skillz.

1. If you’re NOT using Firefox, you’re an idiot. Period. Go to this link and download it now. The best analogy I heard to describe the superiority of open source software to proprietary Windows crap was made by The Husband: “You wouldn’t buy a car with the hood welded shut so you couldn’t look at the engine, would you?” And a special note to the Ladies: If you use Firefox and complain loudly about Microsoft you will get the Geek Boys. In truckloads. I should probably do a post about the inherent sexiness of Geek Boys, but that would take me way Off Topic and would require a lot of typing and more coffee than I have readily available. Anyhow. Where was I? [↩]
2. Two size 10’s and two size 12’s, which any woman will tell you is perfectly normal. [↩]
3. I know I have the email from Allan speculating on how one would do that, but I don’t feel like digging through my gmail archives at the moment and implementing it. [↩]
4. Without having to chop of 4 inches of fabric from the hem. [↩]
5. Which I can’t link to right now since their site in doing maintenance. [↩]

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 7th, 2007 at 9:27 am and is filed under LOLCats, Quotes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.