• Emma’s blood sugar readings were all over the map the first two and a half weeks.  I think we’re almost at the point of getting her on a fixed insulin dose and only doing the blood testing a few times a week as opposed to twice a day.  Let’s just say that I’ve gotten really good at poking lancets in a cat’s ear.  It’s a two person job, and I have a highly cooperative cat, but I still think it’s a marketable skill.




• Why is anyone still listening to Dick Cheney?  He is utterly irrelevant and the only thing I’m even remotely interested in hearing from Dead-Eye Dick would be his testimony before the International Criminal Court in The Hague.




• I am still in my Summer-Is-Coming-and-It-Sucks depression.  Our home air conditioning will more than likely be turned on later this week.




• I’m still in Sock Knitting Mode.  The Lenore Socks were finished a few weeks ago; I haven’t taken any pictures of them when I’m actually wearing them, though.  They are lovely and I’m completely in love with Blue Moon Fiber Arts Socks that Rock (lightweight).  Today, I finished Sock Number One of the Blackrose Socks and cast on Sock Number Two, using Dream in Color Smooshy in the Gothic Rose colorway:






• I’m in pain.  I have terrible allergies.  I’m cranky and contrary.




• I’m flying to Paris next Friday.




• Srsly.

9. Depression. This goes hand in hand with #10 above.

8.  Lack of bloggable material. I’ve started a few posts in my head, but none of them have come to fruition.  I have one idea — using the Seven Deadly Sins to write about knitting and yarn addiction — but that’s inchoate at the moment.

7.  Facebook.  Yes, I finally got my sorry butt on Facebook.  I’m there as Laiane Wolfsong if you need to look me up.  

6.  Other Internet addictions.  Besides Ravelry, that is.  I’ve gotten most of my financial stuff up at Mint.com and I’ve been known to waste a lot of screen time with StumbleUpon.com.

5.  Worry.  I’m concerned that Emma, my 14-year-old tuxedo cat, is developing feline diabetes.  We’re going in to see the vet Thursday, and I’m doing a lot of reading up on caring for a diabetic cat.

4.  Morrowind.  I’ve said before that this game is the best computer game of all time, and the primary reason is its re-playability.  I’ve been a Morrowind fan for years, and I keep coming back to it.

3.  Knitting.  One thing I do not suffer from is Second Sock Syndrome, if only because after I try on the first sock off my needles I want the second sock ASAP so I can wear them both.  I’m cranking out the second of a pair done in this lovely Socks That Rock Lightweight from Blue Moon Fiber Arts.

This is the Haida colorway from the Raven Clan series, and it’s going to turn into a pair of Lenore socks.

2.  The Prisoner.  I hadn’t heard of this 1967 television series until The Husband mentioned it.  After Patrick McGoohan died earlier this year, he mentioned it again and we decided to order the series on DVD.  We’re more than halfway through, and I know I will need to watch it again to catch more of the subtlety (You know, foreshadowing, allusions, symbolism –  all that “literary” stuff that gets me excited).

1.  Too much cat help. A picture is worth a thousand words.

While cleaning up around the desk in my study, I found a piece of note paper that had the “petty and vindicative” quote about pain that I’d been searching for for years.  The quote, not the specific piece of paper.

My quote searching would have been much easier if I had remembered who said it — for some reason I was thinking H. L. Mencken when it was really W. Somerset Maugham. Big difference.

Anyway.  Ahem.  The “petty and vindictive” quote:

It is not true that suffering enobles the character; happiness does that sometimes, but suffering, for the most part, makes men petty and vindictive.

It could have been Mencken…

It’s from the knitting. I know it’s from the knitting because it’s in both hands.

I’ve been a heavy computer user for years and years. Not only am I a Gamer Grrrl, I’m a secretary. The vast majority of my job is word processing. Lots of word processing. I’m coming up on fourteen straight years as a probate and estate planning legal assistant, so I know my word processing, cats and kittens. Boy Howdy do I know my word processing.

I have a significant amount of hours of computer use at the office each workday and I have never, ever, for one second had a problem with my hands. There were a few long weekends when I gave myself “mouse elbow” from hours and hours of EverQuest II, but it wasn’t anything like this — nothing even close to this weird “pins and needles” feeling in my thumbs.

I have declared this a No Knitting Weekend. I’m wearing my wrist braces 24/7. I took ibuprofen all day, but that hasn’t really done much (and I can’t take it together with the extra-strength Vicodin that is my bulwark against My Other Pain I deal with all too often). I’m going to try some cold therapy (i.e., ice in a ziploc baggie) in a little bit.

No Knitting. I can, however, type and use a mouse (while wearing the braces) without much discomfort — not exceptionally well, mind you, but it’s certainly doable. My intention is to level up in Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion so I can go and tackle the Shivering Isles expansion.

After the ice, though.

Yes, yes, in a perfect world I wouldn’t be on my computer at all. My alternatives? Reading and watching DVD’s. I’ll spend some time with those activities; I can only read so much without getting restless and watching a movie without yarn and needles in my hands makes me twitchy. I know there are millions of people out there who can sit in front of the television, slack-jawed and content, but I am not of that ilk.

It’s going to be a wicked cold weekend, anyway. It’s best to stay inside. There could be dire consequences otherwise.

I’ll manage, certainly, but I’ve been having a difficult week with my Never-Ending Chronic Pain. The pain just compounds the stress and wears me out. I’m an introvert; I need a lot of people-free “down time” in order to recharge my batteries — even on my pain-free days. Today it feels that all I truly want to do is take a hot bath and curl up on the sofa with my yarn, a few felines, a Cottage Inn pizza, and a movie; but first, it’s LOLCat Friday!

Feline courtesy of I Can Has Cheezburger.

I also have a new book I want to dive into: Beyond the Body Farm: A Legendary Bone Detective Explores Murders, Mysteries, and the Revolution in Forensic Science. Yes, this is what I read for fun (when I’m not knitting, gaming, surfing the innernets, etc.).

I’m hoping it will inspire me to get Item No. 1 off of my list of twelve things to do in this new year. I’ve downloaded the application, had an email exchange with the University about the form my photographs should be in, and should be good to go for FINISHING THIS TASK. It’s been on the Things To Do list for so long it’s laughable.

I plan on rewarding myself with a University of Tennessee sweatshirt when I done with all my paperwork.

But now, it’s time for bath, felines, yarn, pizza, movie.

Not necessarily in that order.

I love reading her blog. She’s a very talented knitter, and her “cats wearing knitwear” photos are downright hysterical.

In honor of the hot pink button, I’ll also post a “in progress” pic of the hot pink Tempting Sweater. They almost match!

I also want to respond to her birthday meme, but I know I will want to type a lot more than I’m up for today. I’m still bouncing back from the awful pain on Sunday and want to crawl into my hidey hole with my computer and chocolate ice cream.

Well, that and I’m winding up the Morrowind quest to have the last of the four Ashlander tribes nominate me the Nerevarine. Then it’s off to Vivec to meet with the Archcanon and demonstrate that I’m not a heretic, etc., etc.

Never a dull moment around here.

I’m not looking for pity. I’m not looking for anyone to take care of me, pet me, cater to me. I’m just looking for a distraction.

/breathe

Books, baths, cats, my computer, knitting — these all help — but I still have those stretches where I only have the awareness of wanting to scream. I find myself panting, like an animal, trying to make it through waves of suffering.

/breathe

I’ll be alright. I’m always “alright.” One horribly annoying thing that came to my mind once (when I was going through the worst depression of my life), was that I never have the luxury of breaking. Gah. I’m far too solid and stubborn for that. “Breaking,” crying, carrying on, grieving, whathaveyou. I carry too much strength for something that easy (damn that personal pride).

Well, enough Internal Dialogue. Here’s a photo of my inchoate irises.

I imagine them — and my peonies — making a sound like a kernel of popcorn exploding in hot oil. What would be the onomatopoetic word for that?

So I go looking, and I find all sorts of interesting quotes concerning pain, some of which I’m certain are written by people whose experience with physical pain is limited to a hangnail, splinter, or stubbed toe.

Herein lies the problem of attempting to communicate or define the nature of a subjective experience. My experience of pain is unique to myself, as your experience is to you, as these writers’ experiences are to them.

Pain is as diverse as man. One suffers as one can. –Victor Hugo

I reserve the right to mock these writers, despite that. Anyone who has been dealing with pain for years has a duty to mock them, as far as I’m concerned. Enriched life. Dignity. Meh.