It’s Furious Balancing

Please excuse the shaky camera. These videos were taken with my iPod

I don’t spend a lot of time in the kitchen; cooking and baking and such aren’t among my interests.  Teh Husband spends a lot of time perfecting his pies and enchiladas, but I prefer the eating to the creating.  My idea of cooking is thaw and reheat.

I am, however, a connoisseur of chocolate, and one of my Christmas presents this past year was David Lebovitz‘ The Great Book of Chocolate.

This is not just another cute collection of chocolate recipes, but a primer in all things chocolate.  How to buy it, how it’s made, how to cook and bake with chocolate, u.s.w. The recipes are just the icing on the cake.

I was itching to try something from it and settled upon these.

Blue Chip Chocolate Chip Cookies

• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 cup light brown sugar, firmly packed
• 8 Tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter (close to room temperature)
• 1 large egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate chips
• 1 cup walnuts or pecans, toasted and chopped

—

1.  Preheat oven to 300°F (150° C).  Adjust oven rack to top 1/3 of oven.  Line 3 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

2.  Beat the sugars and the butter together until smooth.  Mix in the egg, vanilla, and baking soda.

3.  Stir the flour and salt together, then mix them into the batter.  Stir in chocolate chips and nuts.

4.  Scoop the cookie dough into 2 Tablespoon balls and place 8 balls, spaced 4 inches apart, on each baking sheet.

5.  Bake for 18 minutes or until pale golden brown.  Remove from oven and cool on wire rack.

Makes 24 cookies.

Now, here’s the important stuff:

Use the parchment paper.  I never have used it before in any recipe that called for it, but now I know what a lovely invention it is.  It helps  prevent sticking and cleaning up afterward is ridiculously easy.  You can lift the entire sheet of paper, with cookies intact, to transfer it to the cooling rack.   Parchment paper will not catch on fire in your oven – not at 300°F anyway.  You’ll find it in the grocery store next to the aluminum foil.

Don’t skimp on the quality of your ingredients.  In my cookies, both sugars, the flour, the egg, and the butter were organic.  The vanilla extract I had made myself by soaking sliced vanilla beans in light rum.  I used Guittard milk chocolate chips.  There’s an old saying about how you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.

Feel free to skip the nuts. These don’t need nuts.  There is a high chip-to-dough ratio in these lovelies and you will not miss them.

Give each cookie dough ball plenty of room.  A two-tablespoon-sized cookie dough ball is pretty darn big.  They will spread out during cooking.  A lot.

One of my co-workers is an excellent cook, and she doesn’t skimp on the butter and cheese.  When I decided to do a rib roast for Christmas dinner, I knew I wanted a calorie-laden, decadent potato recipe to go along with the (pretty basic) roast meat.   She says she’s prepared this several times and that it’s a 5-star recipe.

I believe this comes from Cook’s Country magazine.  The photocopied recipe I have doesn’t say, but I’m pretty sure that’s the source.

Delmonico Potato Casserole

• 3 Tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1 onion, chopped fine
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 2½ cups heavy cream
• 1½ cups low sodium chicken broth
• 2½ pounds Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and cut into ½-inch cubes
• ⅛ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
• Salt and pepper
• 1 teaspoon grated zest and 2 teaspoons juice from 1 lemon
• 5 cups frozen shredded hash brown potatoes, thawed and patted dry with paper towels
• ¾ cup grated Parmesan cheese
• ¼ cup finely chopped fresh chives

1. Adjust oven rack to upper-middle position and heat oven to 450 degrees.  Melt 1 Tablespoon butter in Dutch Oven over medium-high heat.  Cook onion until softened, about 3 minutes.  Stir in garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds.  Stir in 2 cups cream, 1 cup broth, Yukon Golds, nutmeg, 2 teaspoons salt, and 1 teaspoon pepper.  Bring to boil, then reduce heat to medium and simmer until potatoes are translucent at edges and mixture is slightly thickened, about 10 minutes.  Off heat, stir in lemon zest and juice.
2. Transfer potato mixture to 13 x 9 inch baking dish and bake until bubbling around edges and surface is just golden, about 20 minutes.  Meanwhile, melt remaining butter (2 Tablespoons) in large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat.  Cook shredded potatoes until beginning to brown, about 2 minutes.  Add remaining cream (½ cup), remaining broth (½ cup) and ½ teaspoon pepper to skillet and cook, stirring occasionally, until liquid has evaporated, about 3 minutes.  Off heat, stir in ½ cup cheese and 2 Tablespoons chives.
3. Remove baking dish from oven and top with shredded potato mixture.  Sprinkle with remaining cheese (¼ cup) and continue to bake until top is golden brown, about 20 minutes.  Let cool 15 minutes.  Sprinkle with remaining chives. Serve.

The recipe also states that this can be made ahead through Step 1, cooled completely, transferred to baking dish and refrigerated (covered with plastic wrap) for 1 day.  To serve, proceed as directed in Step 2, increasing baking time to 25 – 30 minutes.

One of my cousins is a veterinary student at Virginia Tech.  She had a Facebook status update yesterday about the dedication of the Law Enforcement K-9 Memorial at the campus.  She was surprised, as was I, at the number of dogs killed by “friendly fire” in the line of duty.  One commenter then mentioned bullet-proof vests and I found  a non-profit organization dedicated to providing vests to these dogs.

Vest ‘N P.D.P. is able to use 97% to 99% of the donations to purchase vests since the head of the organization pays her own travel expenses.  All donations are tax-deductible and you can donate via PayPal. 

I can easily pass on  buying that next skein of yarn I think I “absolutely have to have” and send in a few bucks.  I not a “dog person,” but these dogs deserve to be protected.

There was an interesting news blurb today.  Broadband Internet access, as of July 2010, will become a legal right in Finland.

I was going to say that I would smooch Suvi Lindén, the Minister of Communications, but I discovered that Suvi is a lady and I’m hopelessly heterosexual.

Hell, I would smooch her anyway.

Teh Husband and I occasionally fantasize about where we would retire.  I have several non-negotiable requirements:

1. Urban.
2. Decent lattes.  Please note that Starbucks is not “decent” by any stretch of the imagination. I’m talking independently-owned local cafés, cats and kittens.
3. High-speed Internet access.
4. It can’t be anyplace that has 10 months of summer a year, or unbearable heat in general, or insufferable amounts of sunlight.
5. It has to be in a Blue State.  I encourage you to follow that link.  Not only does it show a “regular” map of the US, it also shows cartogram versions rescaled by population.

Well, I think Helsinki might trump Paris now. French coffee is simply not for me, and I’m hearing grumbles and rumbles about their Internet “three strikes” policy.

Finland!  Beautiful Finland! The Fish Slapping Dance!  The Majestic Moose!  No, wait, that was Sweden…

If anyone knows about the quality of lattes in Finland, please let me know.

I made banana nut bread yesterday — from a brand spanking new recipe — that turned out really, really well.  You lucky devils get the details because, in the spirit of Blogtoberfest, I know you don’t care what I had for lunch today.

The base recipe is on allrecipes.com at this clicky linky thing here.  I added a few things (vanilla, pecans) but the credit and adulation should go to the recipe’s author — Shelley Albeluhn.  It turns out wonderfully moist and flavorful.

Banana Banana Pecan Bread

Ingredients:

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• ½ cup (i.e., 1 stick) butter, room temperature
• ¾ cup brown sugar
• 2 eggs, lightly beaten
• 3 large overripe bananas, mashed
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• ½ cup pecans, chopped (or walnuts, or no nuts if you’re not a nut person)

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F (175° C).  Lightly grease a 9×5 inch loaf pan, or whatever normal-size loaf pan you have.
2. In a large bowl, combine flour, baking soda, and salt.  In a separate bowl, cream together butter and brown sugar.  Stir in eggs, mashed bananas, and vanilla.  Stir banana mixture into flour mixture, stirring just to moisten.  Fold in pecans and pour mixture into prepared loaf pan.
3. Bake in preheated oven for 60-65 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into center of loaf comes out clean.  Cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto wire rack to complete cooling.  Let cool completely before slicing and devouring.  Om nom nom nom.

I like this recipe much better than the recipe in the Better Homes and Gardens New Cookbook, that uses, of all things, Crisco/vegetable shortening.  Ew.  That shouldn’t go in banana bread.  Srsly.

Bon appétit!

I am not dead.  In fact, if I were dead, I suspect I would be feeling much better than I do at the moment.

I also seem to have lost my Knitting Mojo.  I have cast on and frogged 3-4 projects in the same number of days.  If you happen to see my Knitting Mojo, please send it my way.

I’m calling in sick on the Obligatory Blogtoberfest post today.  I’ve got a fever and I’m feeling really, really rotten.  If I’m dead tomorrow, I’ll let you know.

I would, of course, prefer to eat that Cadbury Creme Egg, but this is creative enough for me to forgive their lapse in judgment.

It has been a while since I’ve indulged in my fondness for LOLs — so here’s one cat straight from the mean streets of D.C.

Another Obama photo I discovered soon after Inauguration Day needs no caption; it speaks volumes.

The winds of change, cats and kittens.  We haz it.

Yes, gentle readers, it’s another cooking post.  Fret not; there is no pork involved in this one.

I have made cupcakes.  From scratch cupcakes, mind you, and there’s a back story.

One of the recent additions to my blog roll is Cake Wrecks (“When Professional Cakes Go Horribly HIlariously Wrong”).  When I discovered it, I spent more than a few hours reading through the archives; Jen, the blogger, is quite the humorist.  A side-bar advertisement there caught my eye a few weeks ago.  Despair, Inc. — famous for it’s demotivational posters — was selling Valentine’s Day candy conversation hearts.  They’re marketed as Bittersweets and I knew right away that I had to get them.

They did not disappoint.  When I had the lovelies in my eager little hands, my first thought was, “What can we make with these?“ 

Cupcakes.  Lemon cupcakes with icing and a snarky heart on top.

The Lemony Cupcakes of Snark

Cupcake Ingredients:

• 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
• 2 cups sugar
• 3 eggs
• 2 teaspoons grated lemon peel
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, sifted
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups sour cream

Frosting Ingredients:

• 3 tablespoons butter, softened
• 2 1/4 cups confectioners’ sugar
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• 3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/4 teaspoon grated lemon peel
• 1 tablespoon milk

In a mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar.  Beat in eggs one at a time.  Add lemon peel and vanilla.  Mix well.

Combine dry ingredients and added them to creamed mixture alternately with sour cream.  The batter will be thick.  Fill greased or paper-filled muffin pan with 1/4 cup of batter.  Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near center comes out clean.  Cool 10 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.

For frosting, cream butter and sugar in mixing bowl.  Add lemon juice, vanilla, lemon peel, and milk.  Beat until smooth.

Frost cupcakes.  Add snark as desired.

Sometime between my last blog post and this blog post, there was this spate of Internet Craziness — Testosterone-Fueled Internet Craziness — about Barbecued Bacon Logs.

It all started with a post on a BBQ blog a few days before Christmas.  Someone had contacted the bloggers about a recipe for barbecued bacon, and the bloggers rose to the occasion.  In spades.

I first found out about it via The New York Times online edition, but a  Google search I did today had over half a million hits.  The Bacon Explosion has turned into a full-blown Internet meme and now appears on YouTube and Wikipedia.

I know several guys that had the “I Must Make This” response to the recipe, The Husband among them.  I figured that it would be an amusing thing to do over a lazy winter weekend. Why not?  There’s a lot of text out there on the ‘Net about this recipe, so I don’t hope to add anything to the dialogue.  I do, however, have some WIP and FO photos.  Pork Pr0n.  It was darned tasty.

Yeah, I know I’m supposed to be writing a post about sock knitting, but I’d rather procrastinate.  How can you blame me when I’m surrounded by Bad Influences?